2010 GDS Scummie Awards -- CEREMONY

[Wallbanger]

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Welcome to the 2010

GDS Scummie Awards

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LIVE from the Imperial Ballroom at Atlantis Resort & Casino, Paradise Island, The Bahamas

[The atmosphere is electric as the Aussie band Jet perform the opening number.]

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Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, the GDS Academy of Mafia Enthusiasts welcomes you to the 4th Annual Scummie Awards. Please welcome your Awards co-chairs for 2010, Mr. Wallbanger and Ms. moon_lit_tears.

[The crowd politely applauds as Wallbanger and moon_lit_tears appear from stage right and step to the podium.]

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Wallbanger: It is truly an honor to once again stand before you and celebrate the year that was in GDS Mafia.

moon_lit_tears: Bossman?

Wallbanger: Yes, mlt?

moon_lit_tears: Tell me the truth.

Wallbanger: Of course. I never lie.

Random person from the crowd: Vote: Wallbanger

Wallbanger: How'd he get his voice bold like that?

moon_lit_tears: You forgot to get an MC again, didn't you?

Wallbanger: That is not true. I did not forget.

moon_lit_tears: Then...where is he or she?

Wallbanger: You've gotta understand.

moon_lit_tears: What? What have I gotta understand? You pulled this same thing last year! You've only done four Scummies! You can't go derivative yet!!

Wallbanger: What're you talking about? We got an out of work recently shafted celebrity last year, and now we're going to make it a time honored tradition this year. That being said, our MC is going to require some...managing. Just work with me here.

[Wallbanger reaches underneath the podium and pulls out what appears to be a box of sugar cubes and a bottle of fruit punch Gatorade.]

moon_lit_tears: What is--

[Wallbanger shushes moon_lit_tears and whispers something in her ear. moon_lit_tears stares at Wallbanger incredulously.]

moon_lit_tears: You're freaking kidding me.

[Wallbanger shakes his head slowly. moon_lit_tears facepalms.]

moon_lit_tears: OK, whatever...WOW, WALLBANGER, WHERE DID YOU GET ALL THESE 7-GRAM ROCKS? AND A BOTTLE OF TIGER BLOOD, TOO?

[Suddenly there is a ruckus from off Stage Left. Without warning, a man with a crazed look in his eye sprints towards the podium. Wallbanger can barely pull moon_lit_tears out of the way before the man lunges at the items on the podium. The next 30 seconds is a violent scene of sugar and Gatorade consumption. As the frenzied sucrose and electrolyte binge concludes, the man, his breaths now violent heaves, turns to face the puzzled and slightly frightened crowd.]

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Charlie Sheen: WINNING!!!!!!!!!!

[The crowd applauds, mostly out of fear that Sheen will do something crazier if they don't applaud.]

Charlie Sheen: YEAH! The Scummies just got an injection of Adonis DNA courtesy of yours truly, the F-18, the total bitchin' rock star from Mars, the veteran of the unspeakable, the non-Thomas Jefferson, the man with magic and poetry at his fingertips -- and now YOU and this WHOLE FREAKIN' AWARDS SHOW is gonna be put on my mercury surfboard and go on THE RIDE OF ITS LIFE!

Just sit back and enjoy the show...

moon_lit_tears (in hushed tones, to Wallbanger): What the hell have you gotten us into???

[To be continued...]

[MichiganHero]

Charlie Sheen!

[moon_lit_tears]

I'm laughing so hard right now....

[ShadowedFlames]

Just...damn.

[Wallbanger]

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Charlie Sheen: We're back! Sheen's Korner has taken up residence at the Scummies, and we are going to summon the hot springs of Middle Earth and they will explode outward in an orgy of Scummie goodness. This shindig is full of #WINNING, and we're gonna start the #WINNING by presenting the awards for Best Role Claim.

Out of a strong field of contenders, these rose to the top.

The runner-up in the Best Role Claim category goes to Arrows for his claim of Mewtwo in GDS Mafia!

[The crowd cheers.]

And the Scummie for Best Role Claim goes to Jman2k3 for his fake claim of Forensic Investigator in Host!

[The crowd cheers.]

-----

The next stop on our tour of #WINNING is for this battle-tested bayonet to present the award for Funniest Role Claim.

The voters have spoken, and second place in the Funniest Role Claim category goes to All the Eevee claims in Pokemon Mafia!

[The crowd cheers.]

Not to be outdone though, coming in first and claiming the Funniest Role Claim Scummie is Destiny with his claiming a good trainer In Pokemon Mafia!

[The crowd cheers.]

-----

We'll do one more before we take a break - this round of #WINNING is for the Best Role category.

There was a tie for second place - our first example of #BI-WINNING tonight. Give it up for Bill Tomasi, Parasite Aligned Crazed Inflected Host from Host Mafia and Gene Wadsworth, Catfish Creek Aligned Mortician & Taxidermist (the Fake FI) from Catfish Creek Mafia!

[The crowd cheers.]

But one role was just a little more bitchin' than even those two...your winner for Best Role is Light Yagami, Perfect World Aligned God Named Kira from Over-9000 Mafia!

[The crowd cheers.]

Wallbanger (whispering to moon_lit_tears): See? That wasn't so bad, though the hashtags were a little annoying.

moon_lit_tears (whispering to Wallbanger): Riiiight. We've barely gotten started, and we haven't had a guest presenter yet. I just KNOW this isn't ending well...and you don't have any more "seven gram rocks".

[More to come!]

[djthefunkchris]

Just a FYI... They tested Sheen for drugs on that morning show or whatever it was... He agreed he would do it and did.

The test showed he's been clean for a good while.

He's just that way normally (High on himself or whatever... lol).

[Wallbanger]

Just a FYI... They tested Sheen for drugs on that morning show or whatever it was... He agreed he would do it and did.

The test showed he's been clean for a good while.

He's just that way normally (High on himself or whatever... lol).

*blinks*

[moon_lit_tears]

That's why we gave him sugar!!

[Imarevenant]

Are you sure he didn't have a Wizzinator or something DJ? :p

[Wallbanger]

Are you sure he didn't have a Wizzinator or something DJ? :p

LOL! :p

Nah, he just changed the test results with his mind.

Or his goddesses strapped him down for 72 hours before he took the test (the urine test only shows stuff taken in the past 72 hours).

[MichiganHero]

Your all wrong. The testing machine couldn't take so much CHARLIE SHEEN! (TM Charlie Sheen 2011), it exploded in a fountain of WINNING...and Charlie Sheen.

[GruntMark]

Good stuff so far guys.

Impressed that anything from Host won (a short game run over a year ago), but kudos to Rev for designing one of the most memorable and fun ones of 2010. And obviously JMan whose claim has already been much discussed, and inspired his role in CFC.

Also glad to see Light win, as I nominated it. :p Inspired idea DWW. Wish there was more roles that punished claiming in a similiar way.

[djthefunkchris]

Charlie Sheen, who has been on an aggressive press tour to both defend his lifestyle of adult film stars and ex-nannies and to respond to "Two and a Half Men" being shut down for the rest of the season, underwent both a urine and blood drug test to prove that he is drug-free -- and the results were just announced.

Dylan Howard, senior executive editor at Radaronline.com, told "Good Morning America" today that the actor was tested on Saturday for a number of drugs, including cocaine, marijuana, opiates, amphetamines, alcohol and methadone and that the results show Sheen tested negative for every one of the tests.

"He flew back from the Bahamas where he was vacationing to take this test earlier than expected because he was confident that he would pass," Howard said, also saying the test was done by a court-certified laboratory in California.

One link...http://www.etonline.com/news/108179_Just_In_Charlie_Sheen_Drug_Test_Results_Rev ealed/index.html

However, you can google and find ALLOT more links, from whatever source you like (that was just the first one I clicked on).

Don't know if you guys were being silly, or are trying to debate me (notice the "BLOOD" test results as well).

[moon_lit_tears]

One link...http://www.etonline.com/news/108179_Just_In_Charlie_Sheen_Drug_Test_Results_Rev ealed/index.html

However, you can google and find ALLOT more links, from whatever source you like (that was just the first one I clicked on).

Don't know if you guys were being silly, or are trying to debate me (notice the "BLOOD" test results as well).

I love Charlie Sheen. He's funny as hell.

[mjdgoldeneye]

(the urine test only shows stuff taken in the past 72 hours).

Well, certain drugs (especially fat soluble ones) can stay in the system for a long time.

Opiates stay forever and ever. You can eat a poppy seed bagel on Thursday and test positive for heroin on Friday. It depends on your metabolism and how precise the test is, but an insane number of drug tests turn up false positives (relatively speaking considering how often jobs are on the line when they're administered).

[Wallbanger]

One link...http://www.etonline.com/news/108179_Just_In_Charlie_Sheen_Drug_Test_Results_Rev ealed/index.html

However, you can google and find ALLOT more links, from whatever source you like (that was just the first one I clicked on).

Don't know if you guys were being silly, or are trying to debate me (notice the "BLOOD" test results as well).

I'm being mostly silly and only a tiny bit serious. But since you brought it up (and this is the last semi-serious thing I'll say about it)...the window for a blood test? Only 24 hours. Unless you're subjected to minimum twice-a-week tests or unscheduled testing on demand you can do whatever the heck you want as long as you keep a schedule. So forgive me if in real life I'm...skeptical...of how "clean" the old F-18 is.

More awards tomorrow! :)

[Wallbanger]

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Charlie Sheen: We're back and it's time for a #Fastball. We're bringing in some of the #WINNING crew to keep things fresh here - this gnarly piece of awesome is hooking up with me to bring fiery death with style. Welcome one of my favorite poets to the stage and listen to his -- duh --WINNING.

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[The crowd cheers appreciatively as Eminem and Sheen bump fists center stage.]

Charlie Sheen: Glad you could make it, man.

Eminem: Always got time for ya, bro. Let's do this thing.

Charlie Sheen: That's right, another batch of Scummies to hand out. Let's do the presentation for the Best Night Scene.

Our runner up for Best Night Scene goes to...Host Night 1!

[The crowd cheers!]

And the winner of the Scummie for Best Night Scene -- Catfish Creek Night 1!

[The crowd cheers!]

-----

Eminem: Yeah, I'm down with those winners - damn fine storytelling there. Let's go next to Best Overall Writeups.

Coming in second for Best Overall Writeups is Catfish Creek Mafia!

[The crowd cheers!]

And perhaps not surprising, the winner of the Scummie for Best Overall Writeups is Host Mafia!

[The crowd cheers!]

-----

Charlie Sheen: Two very gnarly and bitchin' games there, good to see them get their due from a creative standpoint. Next up, the award for Most Dramatic Moment.

The runner-up for Most Dramatic Moment goes to...the ending of Good Cop, Bad Cop Mafia!

[The crowd cheers!]

And, as decided by the voters, the winner of the 2010 Scummie Award for Most Dramatic Moment...Crayons fake overkill in Over-9000 mafia!

[The crowd cheers!]

-----

Eminem: Next up, we'll go to the Scummie for Best Botch.

Charlie Sheen: Yeah, it's better you do that one, I've been dealing with too many botches as of late.

Eminem: I feel ya, no worries. Looks like we've got some bi-botching, er, I mean bi-winning here, as you like to put it.

The co-winners of the Scummie for Best Botch...

jman2k3 not realizing he was a faulty forensic investigator in Catfish Creek Mafia!

And...

derek_b's modkill in Futurama Mafia!

[The crowd cheers!]

-----

Charlie Sheen: We'll finish up this segment with the Most Enjoyable Game award.

Coming in second place in the voting for Most Enjoyable Game...Catfish Creek Mafia!

[The crowd cheers!]

And your Scummie winner for this year's Most Enjoyable Game...Host Mafia!

[The crowd cheers!]

------

Charlie Sheen: All right then, thanks for the help, Eminem, and when we come back, we'll go to the individual awards, like Most Prolific, Best Discussion, the Panix award, and more!

[Jman2k3]

Can't wait to read the next batch from you two.

[moon_lit_tears]

I think Charlie and Bossman went MIA. :p

[GruntMark]

Hey, look at all the small games winning awards.

Cool.

[MichiganHero]

I think Charlie and Bossman went MIA. :p

he's not MIA. He's just off for some tiger blood :p

[Wallbanger]

Apologies for the holdup - weekend went by way to quickly!

[d_w_w]

Hey, look at all the small games winning awards.

Cool.

Agreed. Nothing against the big games in 2010, but I really thought Host and CFC set the standard for the year.

[moon_lit_tears]

Agreed. Nothing against the big games in 2010, but I really thought Host and CFC set the standard for the year.

I actually enjoyed one or two of the big games, but CFC was tied for best game ever for me. Still feel bad about night 1 though....:(

[Comradebot]

I actually enjoyed one or two of the big games, but CFC was tied for best game ever for me. Still feel bad about night 1 though....:(

Don't. It won an award.

[Wallbanger]

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Charlie Sheen: Welcome back to the 2010 Scummie Awards, the only awards #WINNING enough that I can MC without all of your faces melting and bodies exploding. I don't want to have to clean that **** up.

Now, anyone who's been following my escapades knows the first shot across the bow from this warlock came from a radio interview - there are lots of great folks out there in radio land that have been in my Korner, and the best of them have given me a platform to say the things that needed to be said, even if they weren't ready for the message I'm delivering.

But these next guys? They were ready. Lord Almighty were they ready. Talked to these guys on the phone just after I did the Alex Jones show and these brothers just got it. Now we're gonna make some magic together -- well, mostly me, but you get the idea. Give it up for New York's weirdest shock jocks, the Crazy Midget Clown Klan, Hustler D and Joker the Pimp!!

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Joker the Pimp: What it do dawg!

Charlie Sheen: How you been, guys?

Hustler D: Just doin' our thing, man - thanks for the hookup and gettin' us down here!

Charlie Sheen: No problem, you did me a solid so returning the favor's a no-brainer.

Joker the Pimp: Alrighty then - let's start this shizznit with the Panix award!

Hustler D: This the prize for bein' the first one murked every game, yeah?

Joker the Pimp: That's the real talk, homey. Wouldn't make it in da hood for 20 seconds. Gettin' second in the voting for the Panix award -- Wrestling Century!

[The crowd cheers!]

Joker the Pimp: And your winner of the Panix Scummie -- moon_lit_tears!

[The crowd cheers!]

-----

Hustler D: Let's do the Best Discussion Scummie next, for those playas who got the flow and let it show.

Mad respect for these two dawgs - they were tied on the ballot, so they both get the bling -- Antithesis and Olivier Le Fou!

[The crowd cheers!]

-----

Joker the Pimp: Next up we'll give the gold for Best Scum Catcher.

The runner-up for Best Scum Catcher is...Olivier Le Fou!

[The crowd cheers!]

And the hardware for Best Scum Catcher goes to...Gonvick!

[The crowd cheers!]

-----

Hustler D: Next on the hit parade, Best Serial Killer! The primo cap-busters of the year are here! Coming in second for Best Serial Killer...Crayon in Over 9000!

[The crowd cheers!]

And your Scummie winner for Best Serial Killer...moon_lit_tears in Catfish Creek!

[The crowd cheers!]

-----

Joker the Pimp: One more, then we gotta jet - this one's the Most Prolific award.

Looks like a tie for second, give it up for Comradebot and mjdgoldeneye!

[The crowd cheers!]

And the winner of the Scummie for Most Prolific goes to...moon_lit_tears!

[The crowd cheers!]

Hustler D: Been fly, everyone, but it's time for us to bounce -- peace out!

Charlie Sheen: No worries - there's still more to come!

[praguepride]

nice job and congratz to the winners...

glad GCBC got an honorable mention for dramatics, that game was CLOSE!

[moon_lit_tears]

Wallbanger...where are you!

Me thinks we need to get the Scooby gang out here!

[moon_lit_tears]

As I'm not sure what happened to Wallbanger, :( I have the list of winners if everyone would like to know I can post them, just not as flashy as I don't really have time to do all that stuff. :p

[i effin rule]

As I'm not sure what happened to Wallbanger, :( I have the list of winners if everyone would like to know I can post them, just not as flashy as I don't really have time to do all that stuff. :p

Yes please.

[moon_lit_tears]

BIP Scum group
Winner: Gruntmark as Lord Freiza
Runner-up: Comradebot as Zookeeper


BIP Third party
Winner: Moon_lit_tears
Runner-up: Bluestar and Jaded

BIP losing effort
Winner: Olivier le fou in movie land massacre
Runner-up: PraguePride Good cop bad cop


Best group
Winner: scum in host
Runner-up: alpha from cat fish creek

The Lprock award
Winner: LProck (no matter how the voting went he was going to get this anyway)

Most improved
Winner: Paws7297
Runner-up: bhk1978

Rookie of the year
Winner: Olivier le fou
Runner-up: Dragonmack and Smartbomb

Most underrated
Winner: Gonvick
Runnrt-up: Jaded
This years new HALL OF FAME winners
I effin rule
Gonvick
Comradebot

If I missed anything please let me know

[gonvick]

Most underrated
Winner: Gonvick

This years new HALL OF FAME winners
I effin rule
Gonvick
Comradebot

Surely there's gotta be something wrong here. :D

[Tha Black Phenom]

^Conspiracy I tells ya.

Congrats to all the winners. And especially to the HOF entrants, three folks who deserve it.

[moon_lit_tears]

Surely there's gotta be something wrong here. :D

Nope. You were voted for. What can I say. They like you, they really like you. :)

[Imarevenant]

Winners Cheat Sheet 2010:

Best Role Claim: Jman2k3 (FI in Host)
Funniest Roleclaim: Destiny (Good Trainer in Pokemon Mafia)
Best Role: Light Yagami (DWW – Over-9000 Mafia)
Panix Award: Moon Lit Tears
BIP-Town: Gonvick in Nedokious Mafia
BIP-Scum: Gruntmark as Lord Freiza (Dragonball Z)
BIP-Third Party: Moon Lit Tears in Catfish Creek
BIP-Losing Effort: Olivier Le Fou in Movieland Massacre
Best Group: Parasites in Host (DWW, Jman2k3, Comradebot, Gruntmark, Jaded, Eayragt)
Best Discussion: Antithesis & Olivier Le Fou
Best Scum Catcher: Gonvick
Best Serial Killer: Moon Lit Tears in Catfish Creek
The lprock Memorial Funniest Player Award : Lprock
Most Prolific: Moon Lit Tears
Most Enjoyable Game: Host (Imarevenant & ShadowedFlames)
Best Night Scene: Catfish Creek Night 1 (Gruntmark & Comradebot)
Best Overall Writeups: Host (Imarevenant & ShadowedFlames)
Most Improved: Paws7297
Best Moderator: DWW & Imarevenant
Most Dramatic Moment: Crayons fake overkill in Over-9000 Mafia
Rookie of the Year: Olivier Le Fou
Best Botch: Jman2k3 not realizing he was a faulty forensic investigator in Catfish Creek Mafia and Derek B getting modkilled in Futurama Mafia
Most Underrated: Gonvick
Hall of Fame: I Effin Rule, Gonvick, Comradebot

[BHK1978]

lol, seriously can the Gonvick is under-rated talk stop now :p

I agree, how can you have an under-rated Hall of Famer.:D

[i effin rule]

I agree, how can you have an under-rated Hall of Famer.:D

Makes up for me being over-rated and in the HOF (thanks to everyone who voted, btw).

[BHK1978]

Makes up for me being over-rated and in the HOF (thanks to everyone who voted, btw).

I would not say you are over-rated at all. What you did in Disney proves that you deserve to be in the HOF. Like I said before, when I saw your team I told Rev a team with Gonvick and IER on it is going to go down quickly because both are too good not to investigate, track, or whatever people do when looking for Scum.

Well you both proved me wrong and like I said that is just further proof that you are both great players.

[eayragt]

BIP Scum group


....

If I missed anything please let me know

You haven't missed anything (that I can see), but you have randomly put the word "group" in an award that would completely change it's meaning :p

Well done all the winners, especially those in the winning and runner up groups who earned nomination, rather than those who were in both groups and were just along for the ride :cool:

And good year for short games, which I'm always happy with.

[BlueStar]

A runner-up is not bad.

5 days ago, little Dina, sister of Han, was born...way too early (as we knew and expected). So far so good...fingers crossed everyone!

[eayragt]

A runner-up is not bad.

5 days ago, little Dina, sister of Han, was born...way too early (as we knew and expected). So far so good...fingers crossed everyone!

Congrats, and hope all goes well.

[Comradebot]

Me, in the HOF? Really? Did the entire world legalize pot and no one tell me?




Hah, but seriously, thanks folks.

[Destiny]

I think you deserve your place in the Hall of Fame, Comradebot. Maybe one day I'll join you in there.

[moon_lit_tears]

A runner-up is not bad.

5 days ago, little Dina, sister of Han, was born...way too early (as we knew and expected). So far so good...fingers crossed everyone!

I seen on FB, but didn't think it was my place to say anything. Congrats and she and your family are in my prayers, plus I can't wait to see pics. :D

Me, in the HOF? Really? Did the entire world legalize pot and no one tell me?




Hah, but seriously, thanks folks.

Yes, in every state but Texas. :D

[Destiny]

Congratulations on the little one, BlueStar. May your legacy continue to expand.

[BHK1978]

Congratulations Blue!

[Destiny]

Reading through the awards again makes me look forward to our next mafia game.

[BHK1978]

Reading through the awards again makes me look forward to our next mafia game. For in the next game I shall smite you all and you shall all feel the wrath of Don Destiny!!!!

There I fixed it for you. You should really be paying me for the P.R. work I am doing for you.

[Destiny]

You're my unofficial agent, BHK1978. I likely will smite you all in the next game though.

[moon_lit_tears]

You're my unofficial agent, BHK1978. I likely will smite you all in the next game though.

Destiny....you crack me up. Half tipsy and I just laughed so hard.