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#2
09-14-2012, 05:00 PM
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Dear diary:
 I'm focusing entirely on developing myself, not helping myself once I start a mission or something. I'll win the battle before it starts. Or something. ART OF WAR!  Apparently I'm a green raccoon. Or a yellow one. I'm happy, though. EVEN THOUGH I STABBED MYSELF WITH A SERUM AND NOW I HAVE... ... Actually, how the hell am I a hero? I...aside from Aphrodite, who's a civilian (surrrre), I'm just about average-ish. Maybe a little stronger, but stupider. Granted, I did stab myself with the serum, so that's understandable. BUT LOOK AT MY COOL ATTACKS YEAH BASIC PHYSICAL ATTACK **** YOU ALL I'MA wait. ... DANG IT DIARY I SUCK! 
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#3
09-14-2012, 05:10 PM
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Dear Diary:
Apparently I have full control of my powers. I'm not entirely sure that I'm not really freaking high and just injecting myself with steroids and methamphetamines. You do inject those, right? WHY DON'T I KNOW I'M SECRETLY A MEDICAL?! Checking the quote unquote "powers" I can have-wait a second. Why wold I write "quote unquote" if I can just use these: ""? Checking the powers I can have, nevermind give me a second. No, wait, I'll draw that later. So there are 11 power skill things, like fire and such, and I think I can only have ten. Give me a sec while I test that (by injecting myself and then not or something?) here's a picture RUN ON SENTENCE:  Yeah, only 10. WHICH SUCKS ASS. Now there's guaranteed going to be someone that I can't hit FOAR MASSIVE DAMAGE RIIIIIIDGE RACERRRRr dammit that should have been my superhero name. Diary you suck. I'll ramble about stuff next post. Which will still be today. I REFUSE TO MOVE TIME SHUT UP CHRONOS WAIT. Wait.  fffffrURJNSNSJSHURRRUUNNNNNN
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#4
09-14-2012, 05:18 PM
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Dear Diary:
I've been thinking of how I want to improve myself (since it's so easy; all I have to do is PUSH MY FINGERS INTO MY EYYYYYYYYYYYES) I want to be cunning like a fox (not Midnight Fox, who's too young for me. Even though she's totes my daughter or something. One sec...  By the way, COMBAT WOMBAT RAWKS. Here's his theme song: Cooom-bat Wooom-bat da da da Cooom-bat Wooom-bat da da da So it's like...daaaa da daaaa da da da da. AWESOME. EST. SONG EVER. Now then: I do need to get more cunning, as that's the only way to find people. Completely useless otherwise-COMPLETELY. USELESS-but still necessary. Since I can't kill everyone by myself, diary, I need them to stab people. Or something. So yeah, cunning. But then I need every other attribute otherwise I die. And resolve or...reputation or...one sec. Reasoning. I need that, else I can't solve plots. i.e. it's the non-combat skill. ATTRIBUTE. WHAT THE **** I DON'T CARE Wait, sorry. Ability. DON'T. CARE. So, diary, yes. I need OOC things otherwise I can't win. Though I could just make a team, fill it with OP people with crap reasoning, then kill other teams over and over. I think that will make me fulfilled, and there's an implication that my social needs would be satisfied. btw, I'm not going to hit on Aphrodite because I respect Hephaestus too much. So yeah, just combat. But I need Magic etc. to not die. So yeah. YEAAAHHHHHHHH also I can get 800 points in everything without losing options so HELLZ YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH /sunglasses
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#5
09-14-2012, 05:34 PM
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Traditional Eidenhoek humour FTW!
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#6
09-14-2012, 06:47 PM
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Dear Diary:
After doing some preliminary tests by... Sure, why not. I injected one of my sperm with cancer so it replicated quickly into myself. Wait, sperm only has half of me. And...uh...it could be an X or Y sperm, I think. So I might have just made a half-male or half-female--although, I suppose it would be half undetermined--version of myself. I INJECTED IT WITH SERUM SHUT UP AND THIS IS WHAT I LEARNED If I want Ultimate powers of...certain ability type things, I need 350 or so Stamina. Stamina's for energy and Toughness's for health, so...wait. Yeah, Toughness's for health, so it's not like raising stamina is a bad idea. I might do that. MIGHT. It looks like stabs from a distance and stab explosives are the most accurate. Conversely, wait, what? Oh. They aren't the least damamging. AWESOME. Now then, what powers do I want? **** that, lets look at attributes, which should be called abilities but WHATEVER. I could absorb stuff, but I don't think that actually lowers damage. I think it just increases my energy. Even if it does lower the damage, 10% at my level isn't much. Sure, once I get crazy high levels and stuff, that will matter, but I'm not there now. True, yes, I could buy it now and upgrade to 30% later, but SHUT UP I'M NOT THERE NOW. I could handle animals. I CHOOSE YOU PORCUPINE! Oh, wait. That'd be animal master. I CHOOSE YOU PORCUPINE! Huh, that's interesting. There are a few abilities that allow me to avoid getting hit or lower their attack ability. I think four 30% chances give me... ... .6^4 =... ... DAMMIT MATH ONE SECOND About a 13% chance of getting hit each attack. Well, I know there's Plant Master and Animal master for two 30%, and there's at least three that lower damage or rolls, so cool. RIGHT. ANIMALS. I do not have Animal Senses... I could be an anthropomorphic animal, though. I could be aquatic. I could wear an armoire. Or skin. I could have an AI. SHUT UP DIARY YOU ASKED FOR IT YOU JERK I could thieve attributes. But only maybe. CALL ME MAYBE GOD DAMMIT CARLY RAY JEPSEN DIE I could **** up my ranged attacks. I could test my battle. I COULD IRONMAN DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA BERZERKERGANG I could move to a different physics state. I could eat tangerines. I could change my appearance? So if I put on a hat, suddenly there are three less rolls to hit me? BEST HAT EVER I could create blowup dolls of myself. BEST REFERENCE TO SEX EVER Duplicating myself, aside from being hella expensive, is badass. BAD. ASS. ... Well, hrm. Why is badass good? WHYYYYYYY I could have a weak point for GIANT ENEMY CRAB MASSIVE SIZE Balloon Wait wait wait. Multiplication? FFFFF EXPENSIVE Alright, multiplication can create only one duplicate, though it is pretty awesome. I should totes get both. Shrinking's a thing, water's a thing, capsules and dizzies... SLOW MOTION FOR ME TREMOR MOTION FOR ME Certified Insane. <_____________________________________< >_____________________________________> Chamlan? I R CLAWES I R PARCE I can train in cambat. **** YOU CONSIDERED A JOKE I could control your magnets. Is that animal magnetism? IS IT HOT CHICK MAGNETISM WAIT IF THEY HAVE AN UNDERWIRE CAN I DO THE GREATEST THING EVER? (PS diary that's kill someone with their own underwire by HA HA HA PACEMAKERS) I can weather. Alright, converting attacks looks neat, so long as it lets me go above my maximum. COME AT ME BRO SHUT UP ****ING JERSEY ****ING SHORE I WILL PUNCH YOU IN YOUR FACE I could be a coward, or a fireworks. I could have a criminal shut yo mouth. Apparently being constantly damp makes me take less damage. Uh... Dark magic is useless. **** YOU YUGIIIIIIIIII Demolition expert. Given that I'm doing 'splosives... I could study demons. Or detectives. That'd be cool. DIMENSIONALLLLLL TRAVELLLLERRRRRRRRR Early warning OW MY HEAD Elemental control? Interesting... I could pathetic people or something, which is actually kind of a **** move in a group. WOOOO HOOOO ENERGY BOOST wait that uses hero points. Energy leech, eh? It's like makeouts but instead of taking your purity I TAKE YOUR SOUL. Enhancing thing is for email spam. GAPLE TAIM SPLOOOOODE RITE DEEEERREEEEE How the hell is Fearless Crusader a benefit? I R FEEEEEEEEREEEEEE Flying's for people that get government injections and get lucky. Also for detectives, I guess. FOOOOOOOOOOOOORCEEEEEEEE I could have no tail :'( WAIT I CAN HAVE A SPACESHIP Perpetual Energy, eh? Hrm... SPIKE Psh healing Hypnosis? Moar liek ALL THE LADIES SAY YES MIRITE? I saw The Illusionist once. It had that Giacomo guy. Immortal, eh? I NO MOV I could be immune to stuffs. I r dens? U R FAR I could break information. Hmm... Wait. There's insane, then there's certified insane? WHAT THE HELLLLLLL Infernal energy source, eh? I could invent things. And invis them. IARRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNN So I could be SIMPLY IRRESISTIBLE HE SO FINE HE SO SIMPLY IRRISTEISBLE YARYARYAR I know I made a massive joke, but yeah, there you go. Wait, being tiny is bad? What the hell? I could jump start stuff, but wtf. Or leader that ship. LEAD THAT SHIP CHICK LEAD IT ALLL NIIIIIIIGHT. So I could have a battle suit and light armor and regular armor and I R INVALERNAABLE Kitty! :3 Wait. GETTING LUCKY IS AN ATTRIBUTE? I could be a martian VAGUE REFERENCE DIARY VAGUE REFERENCE Yeah yeah Reasoning high. I could master things AND magic. Magicry. Wait. Medical Expert? WHY DON'T I AUTOMATICALLY HAVE THIS? Mental Absorber... FYUUUUUUUZUN! Mental LiHA! Or a device. Mimery? SWEET ACTION! Probing only works in groups? Mind Reader? Hrm... TAKILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL I could have a motorboat. That's nice. HA HA **** YOU ALLIES I'M MOVING! I think, technically, I already am a mythical being. Or I cold target nature. Nice. I could necro. WAIT FU BANINJA! Pacefast? Personality Disorder? Well, I am depressed/anxious clinically... PLANTS! I can have things. Power power? Nice nice. NEGATION! THAFET If I can precognition, then why aren't you naked yet, girrrrl? ^The next hit song from SMOKEY AND THE SUNSHINE BANDIT Why am I not crazy? Also, fairmones. Pulling strings costs points? IT'S PULLING A ****ING STRING! Well, multiple, but... I could be a papet. Or a puzzle WAIT WAIT WAIT BECAUSE YOU ARE...A PUPPET LOLOLOLOLOLOL I could reasonably solve things. Like a lame-ass. RADAR REVERSE REVERSE I want Reality Changer so ****ing badly. I could regenerate. Resisting damage, especially physical, would be nice. Or piercing, apparently. And probably something else but I'm past that. I R RUBAR U R GLUE I'MA MAKE A MOVE AND KISS YOU. forever Sear is spelled "sear." Someone can't cook. Shapeshifter? Moar liek BAKESNIFFER. Aw now I'm hungry... Shooting sharp things? EXCELLENT IDEA! Shielding sharp things? EXCELLENT IDEA! Sixth sense? MOAR LIEK SEVENTH SENSE LAWL Slippering? AWESOME! I should get both slow healing and fast healing >_><_< I can...make soap? I'ma, SPAAAAACE, for you! SPADESTAR WOOORORHSHSHSHHHHHHHH RAEG Magic stud? MOAR LIEK MAGIC STUD MIwait. DKNESS 'gality. 'actions. SAPER SHALLD! Strangth. NIce. Tufness. Wait, 750? Oh. Interesting. Supranatural catral? I'M SWANGIN... Wait, this game has tactics? Techno UNTISUNTISUNTIS MOAR TECHNO UNTISUNTISUNTIS Tleknasal? Tlepak? Tlepalepal? Tlepartan? TIME MASTERSSSSSSSSS Time travelling? Moar liek rhyme unravelling, MIRITE? I no need sleep? B AGRESIV! B-E AGRESIV! Trained's like a weaker mastery (duh), but can they coexist? I'M PAPER! She's so lucky, she's a star, but she cries cries cries with her lonely heart thinking, "If there's nothing, missing in my life then WHYYYY DO I PORRRRRRNAN ALL NIGHT?" Oh *** instability (unstableness) sucks hard. And doesn't return much. FORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRCE! AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN! WAIT VAMPIRES CAN WALK IN THE SUN **** THIS GAME **** YOU RYLAND **** YOU RYLANNNNNNNNNNND! Oh and then there's a hunter. Oh. And a slayer? SLAYER HELLZ YEAH SHE HAD BEWBZ I think. Sarah Michessica Parker? Vulnerabilities suck. Especially short circuits + electricity + some type of move. THEY CALL ME WARRIOR! SIX PACK SOLDIER! Seriously, that's how I mondegreen that next line. So I can have later-games megaman megabuster? WHISH WHASH SLISH SLASH Zombies get 25% piercing reduction in exchange for...being undead, I guess? Okay. I'd say it's worth it.
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#7
09-14-2012, 09:53 PM
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Dear Diary:
Reaction, Agility, Strength, Willpower, Magical. It is those that I can attack, though strength moves are relatively rare-grapples and such. Since I can check the statistics of every villain ever-and statistic makes sense somehow-I'm figuring out the best "build" for myself. So far, Black Vortex appears to be my biggest problem. Willpower and Strength are only 450, but he's got a solid base (nevermind mystical/energy absorption) of defenses to assail. Aside from him and Belial, though, so far I find that Mystical is laughably easy to overcome. I delved a bit further, then I got bored. What I learned is:
Looks like, then, that I want 3-4 "elemental" attacks, maybe 1 mental, 3-4 mystical, and 1 physical strength-based attack. That plus my default attack is...9-11 attacks. PERFECT! Now the question is, how do I want to start? Diary dearest, it seems as though strength etc. is only used in defense and for requirements of things. Thus, I need not increase my Strength to be able to throw somebody. Weird, but...eh, whatever. That has to be wrong. That must be wrong, and yet until I enter combat (I think), I am unable to check. Somebody did something to make their help manual entirely the variety that I do not like. Ryland... Admittedly, it likely is a much better style for this game FOURTH WALL and a lot of people, but I still complain. STILL COMPLAIN. Now then... Ah, check the editor. There we go. FOURTH WALL. Wait, Cunning lets me be more effective on the battlefield? HOW? I dunno if Mystical helps my Magical-reverse that-attacks, but I'll assume it does. Sure. Let's pseudocode this *****:
bai dairy
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#8
09-14-2012, 09:56 PM
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Dear Diary:
WAIT WUT STUN ATTACKS ARE MORE AWESOME AT ULTIMATE FFFFFF YOU ****ED ME OVER DAMMIT! Now I have to remove a... hrm. I could ignore the basic Mystical attack, and make an ultimate mystical stun. ... Oh, and I could just edit my first attack into something else and **** the hero point difference. /shrug Which, btw, would be 100 hero points. "Oops, I 'accidentally' saved the Physical Grapple in...Melee." Which begs the question of what a grapple in ranged or EXPLOSIVE SUPLEX wait they have that it's an Exploder Suplex. Dammit.
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#9
09-14-2012, 10:17 PM
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Dear Diary:
 Pretend that Mental Stun Explosive says Mystical, as I changed that in the editor. <_< >_> Also, I can... Wait, I gipped myself of like 900 points. DAMMIT! Eh, I'll just...well, wait. DAMMIT. I CAN'T GET THEM BACK. And I can't edit my points, so I can't even buy something for free and sell it... WAIT. One sec. Okay, I'm 2k up, so 1k more...I bought unstable powers and dropped it in the editor. Now i just need to buy 1k and drop it and I'm done. Anthropomorphic Animal. Excellent. And dropped. Now then, it takes me...450 energy to stun, of 600. Can I get it to 900? I'd need 450 stamina... Boom. And 1463 Hero Points left. Which is a little higher than it should have been .________. Wait, what now?
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#10
09-14-2012, 10:21 PM
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Dear Diary:
DAMMIT I NEED 10,000 HERO POINTS TO MAKE A TEAM MY PLAN IS RUINED. Well, might as well make some friends. Or, since I learned I can jump to/from Olympus, and that they have like a bazillion Cunning except Talos, the Wildcard. ... Well, I might be able to Stunlock him to death, so let's try, shall we? WAIT NO THAT WAS TO TRY TO GET INFORMATION **** THAT WRONG PAGE Wait wait wait. Hephaestus has only 480 Cunning? I have 350 now. ****.
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#11
09-14-2012, 10:49 PM
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Dear Diary:
Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Never really got close. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Did come quite close to catching him. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Well, actually, noticed that Hera is evil and Aphrodite appeared. Still, tracking down Hephaestus. Right. Somehow I know I was two or three steps behind him. I cannot yell, apparently. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Never got close. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. 2-3 steps. WHY NOT YELL DAMMIT?! Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. 2-3 ****ING STEPS. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Got close today. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. GOD DAMMIT ****ING STEPS WTF? Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Extremely close like two days ago fffffffff Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. ASDOJIJDOIFAJFADDASJIO STEPS Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. GUESS WHAT Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Not even close. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. **** YES GOD DAMMIT. Okay. Gotta place this cool. Don't talk about Aphrodite. Or do. No, no, don't. And be personal so that I CAN TALK WHENEVER I WANT. Low-key. Low-risk. Just want to find him later. Okay. Okay. DHR: So, Hephaestus, made any lightning bolts lately? Heph: I SNUB YOU. ... Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Never got close. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Steps. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Not close. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Did not know he was descended from Talos, but then again, I think Talos is WAIT WHAT THE HELL TALOS IS DESCENDED FROM HEPHAESTUS HE MADE HIM WHAT THE HELL OH RIGHT. Tried to track down Hephaestus. Not close. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. By the way, my secret identity is only 95% safe. Uh... Right, so not close at all. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Not close. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Not close. Dear Diary: I'm cracking. Tried to track down Hephaestus today. SO ****ING CLOSE! Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Annnd he's gone I guess. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Those ****ing steps. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Not close. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Steps. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Not close. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Steps. Dear Diary: I am entirely unfulfilled. Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Steps. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Not even close. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Steps. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. sigh Dear Diary: My face is kinda...orange? Pretty stressed, too. Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Got close, at least. Dear Diary: FULLY STRESSED. HERE LOOK:  Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Nope. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Dear Diary: Tried to track down Hephaestus today. Dear Diary:  Tried to track down Hephaestus today.  
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#14
09-15-2012, 12:13 AM
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Dear Diary:
**** looking for anyone on Olympus, at least for now. Some of the heroes-and I mean the Grecian ones-would be awesome partners, but like hell I'll find them. Also, not going to write every day, because...no. Just no. I'd have to make a new entry and that's stupid. Apparently there are 0 plots in all of the world. No crime. Nice. So what's the plan?
So...let's go to Remisburg.
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#15
09-15-2012, 12:19 AM
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Dear Diary:
Tried to find Dawn of the Dead today. Succeeded! Let's see...I could leave, but psh. Wait, dude, she's someone's dead wife! Undead. Oh. I could be all formal, which...wouldn't be terrible, actually. She either can tell me stuff or how stupid I am for charging into the fray. I could be social, which is usually the right choice. Then again, SORTA NECROPHILIA IS AWESOME and in the game so suck it guys. DHR: Hey, Dawn, how'd you like to test the strength of your stiches via making out or other such amorous activities? Dawn: No. Dammit.
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