Simply Awesome Wrestling: Just for Fun [C-Verse 2016]
SAW Simply Awesome TV
Friday, Week 3, January 2016
Lowe Ballroom (North West)
Simply Awesome Network
Turner: Hello, everybody, Jerome Turner on the call for the first ever SAW show, I'm joined by Shane Sneer and boy, do we have a show for you. However, first, our general manager is here to give you a welcome.
The show begins with Randall Hopkirk entering the arena. After a nice reaction from the crowd he gets a microphone.
Hopkirk: Hello everybody and welcome to Simply Awesome Wrestling. My name is Randall Hopkirk and I am the GM of SAW. Itís been quite a journey to get here but we finally are. I would like to thank everybody here for turning up for this landmark event. We have a great show for you here tonight and without further ado, weÖ.
At this point, James Jolson walks out. Mic already in hand he acknowledges the crowd with a smile and a raised hand.
Jolson: Do not worry, I have arrived. There is no need to panic, for I, James Jolson have arrived to protect SAW from all the evil that lives here. No need to thank me, your adulation is enough.
Hopkirk: James, what are you doing out here?
Jolson: Isnít it obvious, I am here to vanquish the evil, protect the masses andÖ and,,,
Hopkirk: Be a hero?
Jolson: Yeah, exactly.
Hopkirk: Right well, we donít need anybody ďvanquishedĒ right now and you arenít scheduled to fight here tonight soÖ.
Jolson: You are just going to send me home? With all the evil lurking in the shadows?
Hopkirk: How about you stay around and go on patrol, any evil you find, you can ďvanquishĒ it.
Jolson: Aha, I knew you needed me. I will patrol the building. Evil is quivering in itís boot now, and it should, Iím coming for it.
Jolson leaves and Hopkirk rolls his eyes in the ring, before he puts the mic up to his mouth again.Hopkirk: Alright, sorry about that. Anyway, thatís all I have to say, so sit back, relax and enjoy the show.
Smart: OHMYGOD! Peter Gold! Holy crap, I love you man. Youíve been and done everything in this business itís an honour to meet you, do you remember when you won your first title? And did you know that you were the first man to jump ship from SWF to TCW and..
Gold: Did you know you have an extremely grating voice?
Smart: Iíve heard people say that before, but you, oh my god, your voice is so rugged and sitting here talking to you is such a dream, I canít believe Iím going to face you in the ring tonight, itís such an honour, did I say that already? Anyway, itís worth saying twice and...
Gold: HEY! Stop talking. Do you even realise why I am out here, outside the arena, any ideas?
Smart: No not really, but like you are one of the very few people here to have been inÖ.
Gold: It was because I wanted to be alone.
Smart: No kidding. I donít like to be alone, too quiet. Do you know who the quietest wrestler ever was? I do, I bet you donít, Iíll give you three guesses. Iíll give you a hint, it isnít Dan Stone, but heís up there, probably top three for sure but..
Gold: Okay, you have three seconds to leave or you wonít be able to make it to the ring tonight.
Smart stops talking and slinks away saddened. Gold walks back over to his chair and sits down. He just get comfortable when a voice off screen shouts ďYour match is next Mr. GoldĒ. Gold grumbles clearly annoyed.
Gold: God dang it.
Mark Smart (E) v Peter Gold (D+)
Gold start the match with brutal fists of fury but Smart has it scouted, unsurprisingly, heís been watching Gold for years. Smart is quick and Gold canít keep up. He hits Gold with a flurry of strikes but they donít much and a lariat later, Smart is turned inside out. From there, Smart can do nothing. He knows whatís coming but he just canít stop it. Shoulder block. Spinebuster. Lone Star Drop (Powerbomb). Yeah, Smart isnít kicking out of that and that ends the match before it barely began.
Winner: Peter Gold
Turner: Well, that was tough to watch.
Sneer: Hey, Smart had it coming, not like he didn't know what Gold is capable of.
Backstage, Joe Willis is reading a comic book when Sid Stephens comes up to him.
Stephens: Hello there, Joe. What you got there.
Joe: Just a new comic book. I had some extra cash left over this month.
Stephens: Thatís niceÖ So, I hear you are looking for a tag partner tonight.
Joe: Sure am, I have a match with some fellas I hung out with before, theyíre pretty cool guy. Although, I canít find a partner, so I might not get to face them, that makes me sad.
Stephens: Well, Iím free. I could be your partner.
Joe: You would do that?
Stephens: Sure, maybe if it goes well, we could become champions together someday.
Joe: WOW! You really think so?
Stephens: I canít see why not.
Joe: Holy crapcakes, Iím so excited now. WAIT! Stay right there, I gotta go tell the guys our match is on.
Laine: Got any threes?
Laine: Go fish, got any tens?
Draca hands a card over to Jeff.
Laine: Thank you, what about sevens?
This is when Joe comes in to frame, heís running so quickly he actually passes them out before coming back.
Joe: Guys, guys, sorry to butt in but I found a partner, our match is on. Oh, Iím so excited.
Jeff: Hey, well, Draca and I, weíre looking forward to it too.
Joe: Yeah, wow, Draca, youíre right. It will be a great match. I canít wait, see you out there.
Joe smiles wide and walks away.
Laine: Go fish.. Wait, you never replied to my last one, got any sevens?
Draca shrugs and hands him a card.
Draca (E) & Jeff Laine (D) v Joe Willis (E+) & Sid Stephens (E)
Draca and Laine are the only two guys here who seem to be actual tag partners.
Well, they certainly know each other, even if one of them doesn't talk.
Joe starts quickly on Laine firing punches in quick succession before he gets a waistlock takedown and tries to wear down the arms of Laine, that doesnít go well as Laineís strength pushes Joe away allowing Draca to come in. He starts with some flashy punches followed by a Nelson slam but a kip up by Joe followed by a snap DDT grounds both men. They each make the tag. Sid slithers into the ring, dodging the striking combination from Laine and throws quick accurate strikes in retaliation. Sid is too slippery to hit. Atomic Drop. Snake eyes, Sid is in control, but Laine comes back valiantly, connecting with a flying clothesline. Both men are down and they both get the tag. Joe runs in with reckless abandon getting him the upper hand but Draca is too strong for Joe to keep the momentum. Twisting neckbreaker by Draca and heís setting up the finish but Joe is able to escape, running to his corner for the tag.. But Sid isnít there. Heís still recovering, Joe turns right into a running big boot. Joe is out, Laine is in and a Death Spiral (Spinning Underhook Fallaway) and that seals it for Laine and Draca
Winner: Draca & Jeff Laine
Gregg: Hello everybody, Iím Dharma Gregg and here we have our first interview of the night. I have Harry Allen here who just saved Joe Willis from a terrible fate. Harry, I must commend you on your noble actions.
Allen: Well, Dharma, this is the truth. My past, it ainít pretty. Ahíve done things Ah regret and Ahíve done even worse things that keep me awake at night. These are things ahíve already done and ah canít change that. However, what ah can do is change my future. Ah want to do good, Dharma and thatís what that was. Joe ainít a bad guy and he donít deserve the beating he got, Ah hope heís okay but Ah shouldíve done more. My ledger is dripping in red, Dharma and Ah I want to fix that.
???: What garbageÖ
Marc DuBois walks on screen. A smug smile on his face.
DuBois: You really are an idiot, arenít you? People donít change Harry. They lie and steal and do whatever they can to be at the top, thatís what you did, donít feel guilt, own that. That is you, donít be somebody that you arenít. Iíve always been true to myself and lookÖ
Allen: And look where that gotcha, disgraced and unemployed for over a year. You know nothing of my past, why would you even comment on it. Itís my past and Ah will deal with it, Ah donítÖ
DuBois: At least I took that on the chin. I had to be fired, I own that. Thatís me, you can take it or leave it, but you, you were just removed, not like youíve been doing much over the last nine months either, huh, Harry?
Allen: Ah was let go because of the man Ah was, thatís changed now.
DuBois: You can tell your story of a reformed Harry Allen all you want, but when push comes to shove, I know youíll show your true colours, like I always have. Donít believe me, just wait til later tonight, the main event just got that much more interesting.
In the doldrums of the arena, Dharma Gregg has left Allen and DuBois and is walking over pipes and in the darkness. She looks scared as sheís clearly taken a wrong turn and is frightened by a large figure stands before her in the shadows.
Figure: LEAVE! You do not want to gaze upon this monster.
Gregg: Donít need to ask me twice.
Gregg then turns to leave but Leon Brody is arrives.
Brody: Uh, Dharma, we had an interview. Where the hell were you?
Gregg: Oh, Iím sorry. The last two, they wereÖ
Brody: If you have an interview scheduled with the World Dangerous Man, you donít keep him waiting. You better not screw up again for my next interview.
The large figure in the shadows steps out, itís Wolfsbane.
Wolfsbane: Dangerous man? How ordinary. I am not a man, but a wolf cursed to live my days as prey to the moon. You wouldnít have a chance against me, for I am a beast, a terrifying beast who preys on humans if they dare to enter my territory, I can smell them when they come close. NOW GO! Before the full moon arrives and my deadly forms comes out to play.
Brody: Are you challenging me right now? Is that what heís doing Dharma?
Dharma: I donít know. Everywhere I turn thereís two men in a pissing contest to see who is superior.
Wolfsbane: You and I cannot battle. I do not want any more victims in my wake, you would be nothing but a game to me. I cannot allowÖ
Brody: SHUT UP! You wanna go? Weíll go. Next week and you better be ready.
Jamie: What up gurl? You from Tennessee? Because you is the only ten I see.
Gregg: I canít get a break today can I?
Jaime: Cumere gurl, I got something for ya.
Gregg: Ugh, think Iím gonna be sick.
Jaime: Getting sick at the sight of my sexiness is normal, Gurl. Itíll pass.
Gregg begins to physically gag but James Jolson jumps out of nowhere.
Jolson: Unhand her, foul villain.
Jolson then jumps between them, but he inadvertently hits Gregg who falls onto the floor.
Due to the commotion, Randall Hopkirk comes over.
Hopkirk: What on Earth is going on?
Jamie: Nothing much boss, I was just talking Ms Gregg here, sheís been all over me all day and I was just asking her out so later I could take her home andÖ
Hopkirk: Whoa, Iíve heard enough. James, I found you somebody to vanquish. Now both of you, go.
Jolson looks happy and they both walk away and out to the ring.
Hopkirk: You okay Dharma?
Dharma quickly runs off.
Hopkirk: OhÖ Well, might want to brush your teeth afterwards Dharma. Though if you didnít that could keep Jamie away.
Hopkirk stands there wondering for moment.
James Jolson (E-) v Jamie Atherton (E)
Jolson starts with forearms to the face as he overpowers Jamie. Jamie does get some offense in as he uses speed and trickery to get away and hits a spinning heel kick. Unfortunately, the following high risk maneuver from Jamie does nothing as Jolson completely destroys him with unmatched power. Jamie slips out of the ring but gets distracted by an attractive woman in the front row. Jolson comes out and throws him in the ring, but Jamie is able to advantage with a slingblade. Jamie looks to climb to the top but again, the lady in the front row catches his eye, this is his undoing as Jolson attacks him from behind and quickly hits The Death Penalty (Running Powerslam) for the win.
Winner: James Jolson
Harry Allen (D+) v Marc DuBois (C)
The match begins and the ref turns from calling for the bell and DuBois superkicks the ref. Allen is shocked and rushes at DuBois landing with high intensity strikes. DuBois absorbs the blows with a sneaky grin, but Allen tries a sliced bread only for DuBois to throws him outside. A baseball slide, followed by flinging Allen into the barricade gives DuBois the upper hand. However, when they back in the ring, Allen hits a missile dropkick and DuBois is down, Allen tries to revive the ref and does so, getting a thank you from the ref, of course he has no idea what happened, but DuBois is back to life, Dubious DuBois Pin (Cheating Roll Up) and DuBois gets it.
Winner: Marc DuBois
Turner: DuBois, god damn him. He stole it.
Sneer: He just proved his prophesy, Allen is just pretending.
Turner: We'll have to wait and see. That's it folks, we'll see you again next week, same time, same place.
Show Rating: C-